Cycle 3

Cycle 3 2014 Year 7 English

Week 7 - Mar 11- 14
Week 8 - Mar 17 - 21
Week 9 - Mar 24 -28

Week 7 White Week

(Labour Day)
March 10
Enjoy your long weekend!

Class 1

Time to revise.

What are the 5 steps of writing?
What does TSDDD mean?
What is a meaningful sentence?
How many times should we read the instructions for an assessment task?
What are some of the tips you have picked up about editing and proofreading?
How can you use an assessment rubric to improve your writing?

Let's get started on Letter writing

The rubric and sample letter are included in this cycle and are important things for you to look at before you start writing.

All Year 7 students will write a letter to their Primary School.
It is expected that the letter will be informative, polite and friendly in tone and comply with the conventions of letter writing in English.

We will write the letters using a process of

  1. gathering information
  2. organising information
  3. writing a draft copy of the letter in an appropriate format
  4. editing our own work and editing a partner's work
  5. writing a 'good copy' of the letter
  6. providing the teacher with the letter by the due date

and then the teachers of Year 7 will send the letters to the Primary Schools
This task is an assessment task and all students are expected to do their best work for this task!

Consider the following questions before you start to write your letter.

What is the task?

I am going to write a letter to my favourite teacher at my primary school.

Who are you writing the letter to?

I will write the letter to Mrs. Evans. She was my favourite teacher because she was funny and taught me a lot.

What information do you need to help you with the task?

I need information about my first term at Blackburn High School. I need to remember everything I have done about my first term at Blackburn High School.

List the things you are unsure about.

Do I send the letter to the primary school?
Do I have to include my address or the Blackburn High School address?
Can I write to two teachers?
Do I bring a photo from home or will my teacher take a photo of me?
Can I hand deliver the letter to my teacher?

What information are you going to write about?

Story Plan

  • Introduction - hi, how are you? I have had a great time at Blackburn High School.
  • My thoughts about High School when I was in grade 6.
  • Grade 6 - things I was looking forward to and fears about high school.
  • My first day at high school.
  • My first term at high school.
  • Subject work I have enjoyed.
  • Swimming sports.
  • Year 7 'getting to know you' camp.
  • Music Expo.
  • Friends I have made.
  • (something funny that has happened to me)
  • Advice for current grade 6 students about High School and things like homework, organisation, developing friendships… provide some suggestions on how next years year 7s could prepare for high school.

Students should use their 'paragraph grid page' as a letter plan to logically sequence their ideas before they start writing.

Below are a few ideas you might like to think about.

Letter Formalities Date, Your address (school address is fine), Dear …
Paragraph 1 Introduction Greeting to the person
Paragraph 2
Paragraph 3
Paragraph 4
Paragraph 5
Paragraph 6
Paragraph 7
Paragraph 8 Conclusion Remember to summarise and finish your letter with a greeting

Rules for Writing Formal Letters in English

In English there are a number of conventions that should be used when writing a formal or business letter. Furthermore, you try to write as simply and as clearly as possible, and not to make the letter longer than necessary. Remember not to use informal language like contractions.

Addresses:
1) Your Address
The return address should be written in the top right-hand corner of the letter.
2) The Address of the person you are writing to
The inside address should be written on the left, starting below your address.
Date:
Different people put the date on different sides of the page. You can write this on the right or the left on the line after the address you are writing to. Write the month as a word.
Salutation or greeting:
1) Dear Sir or Madam,
If you do not know the name of the person you are writing to, use this. It is always advisable to try to find out a name.
2) Dear Mr Jenkins,
If you know the name, use the title (Mr, Mrs, Miss or Ms, Dr, etc.) and the surname only. If you are writing to a woman and do not know if she uses Mrs or Miss, you can use Ms, which is for married and single women.
Ending a letter:
1) Yours faithfully
If you do not know the name of the person, end the letter this way.
2) Yours sincerely
If you know the name of the person, end the letter this way.
3) Your signature
Sign your name, then print it underneath the signature. If you think the person you are writing to might not know whether you are male of female, put you title in brackets after your name.

Start writing your letter

Get writing. this is when we revise our writing steps.
Step 1- Pre-writing

This step is about gathering ideas or planning what you will do.
Use the template provided to guide you and do some brainstorming of your own.

Step 2- Drafting

This step is about writing the rough copy of your work or the draft copy of your work. In this stage we concentrate on the big picture - what will I talk about?

Step 3- Revising

This step is about taking another look at what we have produced and to think about the details. Revisit the criteria and think about what needs to be added, taken away, changed, reconsidered or written more appropriately for the text type.

Step 4- Proofreading

This step is about polishing your work. Making your work something you can be proud of and that is an example of your ability to present work of a high standard. The teacher will be looking for clear paragraphs. (One or two sentences do not make a paragraph.) Correct spelling. Clean and neat work that is handed in on time.
Read your work aloud and ask someone to read it to you - this gives you a chance to listen to what you have written.

Step 5- Presenting

This step is about gathering some charisma. In your letter you need to do or say something that will make you 'rememberable'. You may want to put in a picture or a cartoon to illustrate a point or send a photo.

Revise your paragraphs!

You have already spent sometime working on your paragraph skills.
Topic and Detail Paragraphs

You can review this information and continue to write paragraphs that have a main topic sentence followed by detailed information.

A personal letter is often full of 'personal reflection' this means your feelings, impressions and opinions. It is okay it have a joke, exaggerate or refer to how the other person might feel or think if they saw you at school.

Remember
Topic, details, reread - check that it makes sense.

Informal Letter Conventions

Write your name and address in the top RIGHT corner
Leave a line and write the date.

Write a salutation - this is who the letter is to be read by.
You must begin with a capital letter and follow the name of the person with a comma.

As you know the person you should greet them before you give them the purpose of your letter.

Explain the reason for your letter. You may need to go into details or respond to previous questions. Your language can be chatty and you can use contractions. You must use correct spelling and punctuation.

Complete the letter and anticipate a reply.

Sign your name with a qualifier of some kind - your friend, all the best, lots of love…

A post Script (P.S.) allows you to add something to the letter that you have forgotten to put in the main body of the letter.

Sample Letter

60 Springfield Rd
Blackburn
Victoria 3130

Old Orchard Primary School
Koonung Rd
Blackburn
Victoria 3130

10th March 2013

Dear Mr Noonan,

Hello, how are you? I am writing to you to tell you about my experiences of high school. There is a lot I can tell you about even after only six weeks of school. High school life has been different to what I expected and my first term of high school has turned out to be busy and eventful. I was hoping you could pass on my experiences to the current grade 6 students so they will know what to expect next year.

When I was in primary school I was quite nervous about going to high school. My sister had told me many stories about high school and how strict the teachers were and how naughty some of the students could be. So far at high school I have met some strict teachers but they aren’t too scary and I really like the kids in my class. There are almost 700 students at our school so I haven’t met everyone yet but the kids in my ‘house’ and ‘mentor group’ are very friendly.

My first day at high school seems like a long time ago now. I felt excited and nervous as I went to school with my sister. Mum drops us off at the train station and then we catch a train and walk to school. Mum made us a really special lunch for our first day and I nearly forgot to put it in my bag. There were so many people at the school I felt like I was at the shopping centre at Christmas time.

All of the Year 7s had to meet in the big gym in our houses. All students belong to a house, there are four houses: Freeman is yellow, Dunlop is red, Melba is blue and Hollows is green. I am in Freeman house. The principal talked to us about starting high school and we got to meet a few of our teachers. Even though we didn’t do a lot of school work I felt like I learnt a lot about school on that day.

I haven’t worked out what my favourite subject is yet but it will probably be Art because I love drawing. We have had to do a lot of testing in English but so far nothing has been too difficult. We do both Sport and P.E. so we get a lot of exercise. Maths is pretty easy at the moment but my sister tells me that by Year 10 it is much harder. I have been enjoying Humanities because we made a movie about bullying and Science has been really fun.

The last couple of weeks have been full of special days and even a camp!. In the second week of school we had the swimming sports. I came second in the back stoke race. It was a hot day so everyone was happy to be at the swimming pool. Everyone dressed in their house colours and mum found a little yellow dress that I could wear over my bathers.

The Year 7 camp was super fun! Last year the school didn't run the camp because of teacher strikes so I feel lucky that we went. It was a great chance to get to know people and learn some names. Luckily the teachers that came along were really friendly too. The camp we went to is called the Briars and is in Mount Mather which wasn't too far away. I found a spider in my shoe one morning which gave me a very big fright. We saw the seals in the bay and even had a night walk. I feel like I have started to make some good friends now.

I have two new friends that I get on really well with. One is called Emily and the other is called Lucy. Emily and I catch the train together after school and she lives at the next station so we can talk about school on the way home. Lucy has recently arrived from China and is still learning English but she is very good at drawing, sport and Maths.

Last Monday I woke up early and got ready for school and told Mum that I would walk to the station and catch the train by myself. Then Mum told me that it was Labour Day and there was no school. I felt really silly, imagine if I had have gone to the station in my school uniform on a public holiday! I also felt disappointed because I wanted to go to school, see my friends and hand in my homework that I have been working hard on. My family went to the swimming pool instead to beat the heat.

Starting high school has been a big change in my life. I am expected to be responsible for myself, mix with other students, even students in Year 12 at mentor group and I have so many different teachers. The 15 day timetable is difficult to remember so I need to plan carefully every day. Whenever things get confusing I can always remember you telling us to Stop, Think, Do. This has been very helpful advice.

Please let the grade six students know that they will have a lot to look forward to at high school. There are so many new experiences for students at high school and there is nothing to worry about. The teachers and other students are friendly, the timetable is confusing but after a while you get used to it and changing rooms between classes means you have to be organised but it helps you to get to know your way around the school.

I miss primary school but I could never go back now.

Thanks for everything,

(Sign your name)

Merridy Peters

P.S. Please say hello to all of the teachers and let them know everything has worked out well for me

Rubric

Read through the rubric with the class. Check what you have written and if the teacher will be able to find that information in the rubric.

Letter Writing Rubric.docx

Class 2

Addressing letters

It is important that you know how to address a letter and write the address on an envelop to ensure it reaches it's destination safely.

http://auspost.com.au/parcels-mail/addressing-guidelines.html

Use the address guidelines above to correctly address your letter and remember that you should write your name and the school's address on the back of the envelop.

When this task is complete the teacher will collect these envelopes and this should provide an accurate list of who went to which school so we can send the letters to your teachers easily.

Now it is time to start to plan you writing. The rest of this letter should be used to write the draft of your letter. Next lesson you will write a letter under exam conditions. You will have 60 minutes to write your letter to the teacher and you are able to use any notes that you have prepared for this test. This means you can write your letter at home and copy it out for the test or you can bring photos or drawings for the letter or you can bring some notes with you that will help you to include all the information you'd like to include.

Look at the rubric again. What do you have to include to get the best result possible?

Template for the Letter to the Primary School.docx
Use this template to help you organise your letter.

Class 3

Open book letter writing test

You have the next 60 minutes to write a letter to your primary school. This is a test. There is to be no talking but you can use any of your own notes that you may have prepared. remember to write full descriptive paragraphs!

You should have your first draft of your letter written by now to help you in the test. Take some time to look at the example letter. How does your letter compare? Is your letter full of information about you and will the teacher know what you think about high school after they have written the letter?

This lesson you should receive an envelope to put your letter into. Make sure you addressed the letter correctly in the previous lesson with the name of your teacher, the school and the school's postal address written clearly on the envelope but DON'T SEAL THE LETTER or we can't mark it!

If you finish early you are to work on your English Basics or to work on reading Dragonkeeper.

English Basics pages 25 - 31
You should be up to Dragonkeeper - chapter 18 by the end of this week

Week 8 Yellow Week

Class 4

SHORT STORIES

This lesson will be for students to work on a short story from the short story books. Any students that were not able to sit the test yesterday will need to complete it today.
Your teacher will work with you on this in class.

Class 5

This class will be used for spelling words and as a catch up class for English Basics and Dragonkeeper homework check. Make sure you have your homework with you so it can be checked by your teacher.

For your information / Extension activity

Australia Post Education Link

This link is full of great educational activities you can do based on letter writing. It details all of the conventions of letter writing and some fun interactive activities. If you complete your work early you may want to have a look around on this site

http://auspost.com.au/education/letterwriting/index.html

ReadWriteThink

This website has something for everyone when it comes to writing. Take some time and have a look around.

http://www.readwritethink.org/classroom-resources/student-interactives/letter-generator-30005.html
This is a great interactive site that will assist all students in their letter writing skills.

Cycle 2 Check List

  1. Read and understood what I have to do for the first assessment task
  2. Read the sample speech
  3. Took notes on brainstorming and watched the you-tube clip on critical thinking
  4. Participated in class activities
  5. Taught someone something
  6. Learnt something from a class mate
  7. Learnt all of the first names of the students in my class
  8. Watched the clip on Proofreading
  9. Took notes on proof reading
  10. Performed Class Speech
  11. Handed in hard copy of first and final draft of speech
  12. Completed the first 24 pages of English basics
  13. Dragonkeeper - Chapter 15
  14. Participated in class activities
  15. Taught someone something
  16. Learnt something from a class mate

Extension Activity

Content of a Formal Letter

First paragraph
The first paragraph should be short and state the purpose of the letter- to make an enquiry, complain, request something, etc.
The paragraph or paragraphs in the middle of the letter should contain the relevant information behind the writing of the letter. Most letters in English are not very long, so keep the information to the essentials and concentrate on organising it in a clear and logical manner rather than expanding too much.
Last Paragraph
The last paragraph of a formal letter should state what action you expect the recipient to take- to refund, send you information, etc.

Keep reading to see some examples of different types of letters and useful web sites that will help you to learn more about letter writing.

Writing Cover Letters that Get Attention

By AAEE on September 12, 2012 2:28 PM | No comments

Whenever you send your resume to a school district to be considered for a teaching, coaching or administrative position you should always include a well-crafted cover letter. Effective cover letters are clear, to the point, and brief. The cover letter should convey information in three to four paragraphs that consist of the opening, the body and the closing.
The best way to craft a good cover letter is by working from the job description or job posting announcement, making reference to how you have demonstrated the skills required or knowledge necessary to fulfill the stated responsibilities.
A cover letter should accomplish six things:
1. Introduce who you are and why you are writing to the school district, targeting your resume toward a specific person (usually the Human Resources Director or Superintendent)
2. Present an overview of your qualifications including your passion for teaching, coaching, or leadership in education
3. Demonstrate how you are prepared to contribute and meet the needs of students by giving an example of your teaching, coaching, or leadership success
4. Give evidence of what you have discovered about the school district and why you would like to work for them
5. Encourage the employer to review your resume to learn more about you
6. Specify your plans to be proactive with the follow-up
A well-written cover letter will concisely tell a story as to why you may be the best person for the position. Be sure to convey your enthusiasm for working in education and offer good examples of past successes in the classroom, on the court or in leadership positions. Be careful not to just repeat information that is already stated in your resume, but use the letter to highlight or explain an experience or success. Lastly, indicate your plans to follow up within 7-10 days to determine the status of your application.
Be positive and write with confidence regarding your ability to meet the needs of the students you hope to teach/coach/lead.
—Douglas Reichenberger
Director of Alumni Career Services
Malone University, OH, on behalf of AAEE

Sample letter 1: Covering letter

12, Kenmore Road
Littletown
LT12 9BH
1st December 2001

Mr G. Sands
Fitness First
Lake Road
Littletown
LT1 5MX

Dear Mr Sands

Re: Fitness Instructor FF/32

I am writing to apply for the job of Fitness Instructor, as advertised in Thursday's Courant. This is an ideal job for me given my enthusiasm for sport, my related experience and qualifications.
Sport and fitness training have always been important to me, which is why I chose to take a BTEC Diploma in Sports Science. I obtained distinctions in the Sports Anatomy & Physiology and Sports Injuries modules last year and am confident that I will get similar marks in Exercise Physiology, Mechanics of Sport and Sports Supervision & Management this year. I am a confident user of Microsoft Office 2000 and have worked extensively with Fitness Publisher, a program for analysing fitness.
As you can see from my CV, I've taken the opportunity to gain extra qualifications that were on offer at college, which has helped me get part-time work as a pool attendant. I'm called on to provide cover during busy times so am used to working irregular hours at short notice. I've also run a lunchtime aerobics class at college since the start of this year.
I finish college in six weeks and am keen to find a job rather than carry on with further full-time study. I could start any part time work or training sooner as many of my classes are finishing and most of my assignments are done. I look forward to hearing from you.

Yours sincerely
Louise Longford
Source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio1/onelife/work/applications/example.shtml

Sample letter 2: Business letter

Whitcomb Polytechnic
20-30 Newcastle Road
Whitcombe
Tyne and Wear
WT5 4AH

11 October 1997
The General Manager
Fukuoka Motors (UK) Ltd
PO Box 137
York Road
Loughton
Durham
LT3 5HD
Dear Sir
I understand from my colleague, Professor William Jones, who visited your Loughton plant last month, that you sometimes allow groups of students to tour the factory and see for themselves how Japanese production techniques operate in a European environment. Professor Jones himself was most impressed by his own visit, and recommended that I write to you.
Would it be possible for a group of 20 Business Studies students - male and female, aged between 18 and 22 - from Whitcomb Polytechnic to visit you before the end of this term, which is on the 21 December? I realise that you must receive many requests for such visits, and that the time available may already be booked up. If it is not, and you are able to see us, I should be most grateful if you could suggest a date and let me know of any normal conditions you lay down for visits of this kind.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Yours faithfully

B Farrant (Dr)
Senior Lecturer

Class 6

Class Preparation for Dragonkeeper

During the next few lessons we will start to prepare to write an analytical essay and discuss just what is expected of students in high school when we read a book in an English class.

During primary school many students read novels and then were asked to write a book review about the novel but that is not what we will be doing this time. Our interest in the book is about the way the character changes throughout the book and the relationships that are formed between the different characters in the book. We are interested in the language used by the author and the themes or ideas that the story teaches us about.

One way that we include this kind of information in our essays is by using quotes from the book. The reading journals that everyone should have been working on asked all students to underline significant quotes in your books. Make sure you are doing this as you go because you will need this information.

Quotes and personal opinions

Look at the quotes below. Each one comes from the Dragonkeeper book and the page is recorded next to it. In the box next to it write down why you think this quote was chosen as a significant quote from the book.

Page Quote Your reflection
2 The slave girl didn’t have a name; she didn’t know how old she was. Not having a name or knowing your age is a sign that no one really cares about you. You are not regarded as a person but a thing. In this case the girl is a slave and even though she is young no one cares for her.
55 ‘I will call you Danzi then,’ said Ping, ‘You are very courageous.’
67 Lan has told them I am a sorceress. He has blamed everything on me,’ she said. ‘I can’t go back to Huangling.’
69 ‘Ping no longer slave,’ said Danzi. ‘Free. Travel with Danzi to Ocean.’
70 Drink from Ocean and wishes come true.
82 For the first time, Ping felt no regret about leaving Huangling. She turned to face the east and started to walk towards the rising sun, towards the distant Ocean.
91 Dragons have 117 scales, 81 are for good and 36 are bad.
94 The dragon was patient and always answered. Master Lan had taken great pleasure in telling her nothing.
96 If you can count to ten you can count to ten thousand.
98 Makes them see the world as a whole with each insect, every blade of grass is as important as the Emperor.
98 Indeed. We are each unique and therefore of great worth.
108 ‘Those filled with life need not be afraid of tigers,’ he said.
121 It is because of its emptiness that the cup is useful.
175 At Haungling (ping) she had often wished for one thing … a real friend to talk to.
176 Now that she had experienced friendship and lost it, she felt lonely for the first time in her life.
223 'Nothing under heaven is softer than water,'Danzi said. 'Yet it can overcome the hard and the strong.'
236 'The sapling is small but none can defeat it,' he whispered.
251 How could she be such a special person , someone with special skills that other people didn’t have?
252 It was as if a secret place inside her, that had always been closed, had opened.
252 She would accept the token. It was her destiny.

Do you have any quotes that you have found that you would like to add to this list? Keep in mind that the essay we will write will be about how Ping changes throughout the book.

Class 8

You should have completed Dragonkeeper by now. This lesson you should answer the quiz and start to draw an event timeline for the book. You will need to go over your notes and use your book to complete this activity.

Students need to be reminded. When we study the book you must bring the book, your reading journal and you must keep all of your notes in your English note book. Remember to keep ruling up your page, use red pen for headings and to put the date at the top of each page.

Students should hand in their English basics books to be corrected.

1. Name a gift that Danzi gave Ping.
2. What is the name of the place where Ping lived with Lan?
3. Did Danzi see Ping as his slave?
4. What are the three rules about keeping the dragon stone healthy?
5. Who is Wang Cao?
6. What colour are Danzi’s eyes? (124)
7. How many good and bad scales do dragons have?
8. Name something that Ping bought with the money they received from Wang Cao.
9. When Ping was at Huangling what was the one thing she has always wished for? (175)
10. What was the name of the river they travelled down?
11. Where did Danzi put Hua to keep him safe?
12. What animals were Ping and Danzi locked up with in the farm house barn?
13. What did Ping do to the boy who stole her money at the market?
14. What is the baby dragon called?
15. What kind of pet did the boatwoman have?
16. What animal feeds of the mulberry leaves?
17. Who did Ping see when she was listening to the woman singing about the donkey?
18. What kinds of food did they eat on their travels?
19. What did the people sacrifice to the lake dragons?
20. What did the baby dragon drink instead of milk?

(Athletics Day)

Cycle 3 Check List

  1. Recieved assessment rubric for letter writing
  2. Accessed the wiki and read through the rules of letter writing
  3. Read through the sample letters on the wiki (optional)
  4. Visit the recommended web sites (strongly recommended)
  5. Completed letter writing plan
  6. Completed the letter writing draft
  7. Completed the final draft of the letter writing unit and put letter in addressed envelope
  8. Read the sample letter
  9. Read the rubric
  10. Proofread work
  11. Checked my letter meets the rubric criteria
  12. Book notes for Persuasive writing
  13. Prezi notes
  14. Debono notes
  15. Your opinion about Debono
  16. Visited Readwritethink website
  17. Completed notes on persuasive language techniques
  18. English Basics page 38
  19. Dragonkeeper

- Chapter 19

2015 Cycle 2 Year 8 English Lesson 9

Lesson outline:
Create a text that explores an aspect of history imaginatively.
Students are provided with some templates to use to start to plan their story. Next lesson they will start to write their stories under exam conditions on their devices and their essays will be submitted to compass at the end of the session. The essays will be collected and students will be given feedback on how they could improve their writing using a writing improvement grid.
Students are welcome to start to write their stories before they start the lesson.
Narrative Construction

Below are some anecdotes from the odd spot in the Age newspaper taken from the following site
www.theage.co.au/oddspot
Wednesday April 9, 2014
Each one of these tells a story and is interesting. Each one tells us who, how, where, when, why and what. As you plan to write answer these questions about your story.
Read the following example
Moviegoers wanting to attend the first screening of latest blockbuster Noah in Exeter, England, got a little closer to the action than they expected. The screening of the film at the Vue cinema had to be cancelled because of flooding. Staff closed the theatre after an ice machine went haywire.
Tuesday April 8, 2014
5W+H

Who, how, where, when, why and what! (5W=H)
Who Movie goers
How Ice machine went haywire
Where Vue cinema in Exeter in England
When Monday April the 7th 2014
Why The cinema was flooded
What the movie Noah was cancelled because of a flood
Now we have this information let's see if we can use it with the 5 elements of a Narrative –
The story could change for an Historical Narrative as it did with Ping in the Dragon keeper …
Plot, characters, conflict, theme, setting (PCCTS)

Plot Dragon and girl travel to the ocean to care for the dragon stone AKA baby dragon and save it from the evil dragon hunter.
Characters Dragon, Ping, Dragon Hunter, Emperor, Pet Rat
Conflict Ping and the Dragon were being chased
Theme There is always hope if you have friends
Setting Ancient Rural China
Next Step
Wordpool

Next let's brainstorm words that come to mind when you read this story.
Dragon, cave, village, evil dragon hunter, weapons, spys, dark magic, mountains, oceans, long roads, nature, wisdom, bravery …
Next step
Form and Storm and Topic Sentence - FAST

This is about getting the essay plan in place with a logical sequence and thinking of good vocabulary to use. Look at the template below and see if you can think of a way that the above details could fit into the template to create a story. This is called a FAST template and should help you get started on your story and have a logical sequence to your ideas.
Order Event Language Element Placement (PCCTS) Topic Sentence
Beginning

Middle

Para 1

Para 2

Para 3

Conclusion

Remember you should start your writing with a good ‘hook’ to draw in your reader.
Remember this story needs to use dialogue to make it more interesting.
Remember this story needs to be set in an Historical setting.
Remember this story should take the reader back in time.

Use the Writing Improvement Grid to consider how you can make your story your personal best.

Writing Improvement Grid Year 8 English- Historical Narrative Name:
Criteria 5 4 3 2 1 0
Introduction Contains a compelling narrative hook in the introduction. Contains an introduction. Contains an apparent, though predictable introduction. Introduction is basic and lacks interest. Introduction is confused or irrelevant. Fails to include an introduction.
Development
Specific and relevant details that support the narrative in an historical context Develops ideas clearly, elaborates on the development of the story, and reveals an insightful understanding of the historical setting. Develops ideas clearly, explains key features of the narrative, and reveals a very good understanding of the historical setting. Develops some ideas more fully than others, logical steps for a narrative and reveals a good understanding of the historical setting. Develops ideas briefly or partially, using some narrative detail without much elaboration and reveals some understanding of the historical setting. Contains a narrative that is vague, irrelevant or repetitive and/or unjustified and reveals a limited understanding of the historical setting. Fails to include a narrative and reveals no understanding of the historical setting.
Organisation
and focus Includes a strong introduction, body paragraphs and focused conclusion, with concluding sentences and sophisticated linking words. Includes a coherent introduction, body paragraphs and clear conclusion with topic and concluding sentences and appropriate linking words. Contains a generally coherent structure but ideas within paragraphs may be inconsistently organised. Makes some attempt to use linking words. Exhibits a basic structure but lacks coherence. Makes an inconsistent attempt to use linking words. Exhibits some attempt to provide a beginning, middle, and an end. Makes little attempt to use linking words. Exhibits a lack of organisation. Makes no attempt to use linking words.
Language
Purpose and audience Demonstrates an excellent awareness of purpose and audience through the creative use of appropriate language features including dialogue. Demonstrates a very good understanding of purpose and audience through the use of appropriate language features including some dialogue. Demonstrates a good understanding of purpose and audience through the use of some appropriate language features and attempts to use dialogue. Demonstrates a developing awareness of purpose and audience through the attempted use of some standard language features.

Demonstrates little awareness of purpose and audience due to poor language choices. Demonstrates no understanding of purpose and audience.
Language
Word choice and sentence variety Uses language that is precise, engaging, and sophisticated and incorporates a significant and expressive range of sentence patterns. Uses language that is precise and original and incorporates varying sentence forms. Uses appropriate language and an adequate range of sentence patterns. Relies on basic vocabulary and a limited range of sentence structures. Uses language that is imprecise or unsuitable and reveals a confused understanding of how to write in complete sentences.

Uses language that is incoherent or inappropriate.
Conventions
Spelling, punctuation, capitalisation, , usage and sentence formation Demonstrates control of the conventions with essentially no errors. Demonstrates control of the conventions, exhibiting errors only when using sophisticated language. Demonstrates partial control, exhibiting occasional errors that do not hinder comprehension.

Exhibits frequent errors that somewhat hinder comprehension. Exhibits frequent errors that make comprehension difficult. Does not adhere to the conventions of written English.
Planning and Editing Evidence of careful self-editing, proofreading, drafting and detailed planning. Evidence of thorough planning, proof-reading and drafting. Evidence of planning, proof-reading and drafting. Some evidence of planning, proofreading and drafting. Little evidence of planning, proofreading and drafting. No evidence presented.
Preparation Completes all classroom and homework tasks relating to the text to a very high standard. Completes all classroom and homework tasks relating to the text to a high standard. Completes most classroom and homework tasks relating to the text to an adequate standard. Completes some classroom and homework tasks relating to the text. Attempts few classroom and homework tasks relating to the text. Fails to attempt any pre-essay tasks relating to the text.
Literary Techniques Demonstrates an excellent understanding of literary techniques and an ability to employ them appropriately. Demonstrates a very good understanding of literary techniques and an ability to employ them appropriately. Demonstrates a good understanding of literary techniques and an ability to employ them. Demonstrates some understanding of literary techniques and an ability to attempt to use them. Attempts few literary techniques and does so awkwardly. Fails to attempt any literary techniques.
Character Demonstrates an excellent understanding of character development. Demonstrates a very good understanding of character development. Demonstrates a good understanding character development. Demonstrates some understanding of character development. Attempts character development and does so awkwardly. Fails to develop any characters.

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