Cycle 4

Cycle 4 2014 Year 7 English

Week 10 - Mar 31 - April 4(T2W1)
Term Break
Week 11 - Ap 21 - 25 (T2W2)
Week 12 - Ap 28 - May 2 (T2W3)

Learning Partners and using SLANT in the classroom

Look lean whisper

2014 Literature Circles

2014 Black HS Yr 7 order form.doc


Quote PEE PP.ppt

Look at Ancient China

Week 10 White Week

This cycle we will work on the novel Dragonkeeper, work on improving Spelling and check the homework in the English Grammar book.

This assignment must be completed in a note book and not on a computer or i-pad - unless you have written permission from your teacher!! I-pads can only be used to access the wiki. All students are expected to have their books with them in class for every lesson.

Evidence Based Paragraphs


Carole Wilkinson

Lesson 1

Some time will be allotted to each of the following activities in class. If students do not complete all of the work in class they will need to complete it at home before the next lesson.

In class each of the activities will be introduced and the teacher will explain how to answer the question and give you an example of how it should be answered.

By the end of this assignment your sentence and paragraph skills should improve, you should understand how to write an analytical essay, use evidence to support your ideas and have improved your proofreading skills.

The first part of the assignment is holiday homework. Make sure you have it ready for the first lesson back.

(In class check – 10 minutes)

Meaningful Sentences

Meaningful Sentences
Look at the vocabulary learning strategy on the Meaningful Sentences link.


Vocabulary is on the wiki

Dragonkeeper Vocabulary

Use the words on the wiki or your own list of words to draw on for the following activity.

Choose 1 word per chapter (24 words)
• Write the chapter number in red
• Write the sentence the word is in from the book and the page number next to it
• Put the new word in red
• Write the meaning of the word in your own words (provide a definition)
• Use the word again in your own meaningful sentence.

Chapter 1

His seal of office hung by his waist by a length of greasy ribbon. P.5
A seal is a stamp made from stone with some writing carved into it. It is used like a signature or a licence would be used to permit people to drive a car.
When I lived in Japan my calligraphy teacher made me a beautiful seal that she cared from jade.

Fact sheet Q&A for each chapter

(in class check 3 minutes)
Give your opinion about the following facts.

Chapter Fact Statement True Probably True Not True
Chapter 1 Hua was a black rat with pink eyes.
Chapter 2 The dragon died in Lan’s dungeon.
Chapter 3 Diao was wearing sheep skin boots and clothes made from animal skins
Chapter 4 Lan believed Ping was cursed because she kept a pet rat.
Chapter 5 The dragon stone was a pretty purple colour.
Chapter 6 When Ping heard the Emperor wanted to kill her she wasn’t surprised.
Chapter 7 Dragons have 117 scales, 81 are for good and 36 are bad.
Chapter 8 The Emperor died from eating dragon pickle.
Chapter 9 Long Danzi used to a wild dragon.
Chapter 10 Ping had dropped the dragon stone at the market.
Chapter 11 The elder wanted to sacrifice Ping to the phoenix god of the lake.
Chapter 12 Danzi made rain by shape shifting into a cloud.
Chapter 13 Ping sewed Danzi’s wing together with a needle and thread.
Chapter 14 Ping and Danzi travelled down the river in a beautiful large boat.
Chapter 15 At Wucheng Ping and Danzi searched for the dragon stone.
Chapter 16 The necromancer is a friend of the dragon.
Chapter 17 Ping believed that protecting the dragon stone was the most important thing.
Chapter 18 Qi concentrated by anger is powerful and good.
Chapter 19 Cherry trees covered in cherries were scattered about the garden.
Chapter 20 Ping thought she would like to live in the Emperor’s palace.
Chapter 21 Ping and Liu Che climbed to the very top of the mountain together.
Chapter 22 Hua saved Danzi from Diao.
Chapter 23 Hua died before they reached the ocean.
Chapter 24 Danzi knew how the story would end.

Key Sentences A

(20 minutes)
Under each chapter heading is a sentence. Choose 10 of these sentences and explain why you think it is a key sentence or sentences. Before you start this exercise, read through the following list of words and see if you can use any in your responses.

Illustrates, implies, demonstrates, suggests, shows us, emphasises, connects, reinforces, provokes, realise, with the aim of, prior to, subsequently, simultaneously, acknowledges, additionally, questions, the similarity with, in comparison to, in contrast to, requires, respond to, motivates, at first glance, initially, consequently, surprisingly, predictably

Chapter 14

‘Isn’t this the wrong way?’ asked Ping.
‘Ocean is in the East.’
‘The straight path must sometimes be crooked,’ replied the dragon.

These sentences illustrate the tension between Danzi having an important job to do but not wanting to overburden Ping and Ping feeling confused about what it is she must do for the dragon. This sentence implies that the small steps we take in life can be a part of a bigger plan and sometimes it is better if we don’t know what troubles we might face.

Sentence construction

(20 minutes)
Make sentence from half sentences. The purpose of this exercise is to develop longer sentences using joining words, adjectives and clauses.


The Emperor climbed steadily with the dragonkeeper…

The Emperor climbed steadily with the dragonkeeper until they reached cloud bridge which was not a bridge made by human hands.

1. Ping started to train the rat …
2. The dragon lifted its head and stared at the girl …
3. The young boy ran through the market …
4. The old woman’s cat glared at Ping with its one eye …
5. Danzi was weak from shape changing all day …
6. Daio was arguing with a man over the price of some meat …
7. Hua crawled up Daio’s arm …
8. The river flowed slowly past the cliffs …
9. The mountain began with a gentle slope …
10. The ocean was nothing like Ping imagined it to be …

Comprehension questions Q to A as practiced.

(20 minutes)
Change the question into a partial answer, think of your answer or reread the text, write down your answer and check that it makes sense.

How did Ping initially come to live at the imperial palace as Lan’s slave and care for the dragons?

Ping initially came to live at the imperial palace as Lan’s slave because she was sold to Lan as a slave when she was a very small child. Part of her duties at the palace were to feed the animals and when the official dragonkeeper became too lazy to care for the dragons he made Ping feed them and care for them.

Your turn!

1. What sequence of events unfolded for Danzi’s companion dragon imprisoned in the dungeon?
2. Why did Lan believe that Ping was cursed and what did he blame her for?
3. Why did the emperor go to the palace where the dragons were kept?
4. What are the weaknesses and strengths of the dragon?
5. How did the death of the Emperor impact on Ping?
6. What does the author tell us about Danzi before he came to live at the palace?
7. Why did the villages try to sacrifice Ping and how did she escape?
8. What was the boat trip down the river like for Ping?
9. What events unfolded for Ping and Danzi at Wucheng?
10. Describe the relationship that Ping has with the new Emperor and Liu Che

Lesson 2

Event Quiz

(5 minutes) – small reward for the fastest response might be on offer
Oral activity – this does not need to be written down in your book.

1. Name a gift that Danzi gave Ping.
2. What is the name of the place where Ping lived with Lan?
3. Did Danzi see Ping as his slave?
4. What are the three rules about keeping the dragon stone healthy?
5. Who is Wang Cao?
6. What colour are Danzi’s eyes? (124)
7. How many good and bad scales do dragons have?
8. Name something that Ping bought with the money they received from Wang Cao.
9. When Ping was at Huangling what was the one thing she has always wished for? (175)
10. What was the name of the river they travelled down?
11. Where did Danzi put Hua to keep him safe?
12. What animals were Ping and Danzi locked up with in the farm house barn?
13. What did Ping do to the boy who stole her money at the market?
14. What is the baby dragon called?
15. What kind of pet did the boatwoman have?
16. What animal feeds of the mulberry leaves?
17. Who did Ping see when she was listening to the woman singing about the donkey?
18. What kinds of food did they eat on their travels?
19. What did the people sacrifice to the lake dragons?
20. What did the baby dragon drink instead of milk?
See the questions and answers on the prezi - if I remember to finish it!

Write 10 of your own quick questions about the story.

(10 minutes)

Draw a picture of a scene

(15 minutes)

Event rating – bar graph

(10 minutes)

Read through the following events and rate them according to how difficult they were for Ping.
Choose 3 of your own difficult events from the story.
1 is a little difficult and 5 is extremely difficult.

1 Event 1 2 3 4 5
2 Witnessing the dragon being pickled
4 Being captured and held prisoner
6 Encountering the necromancer
8 Seeing Danzi and Hua leave her

Using the information you have gathered reorganise it into a bar graph. The graph below is an example of what your work should be like but you must put your own values against the experiences.

[[file|Event Rating Bar Graph| Event Rating Bar Graph]]

Write a short answer question to explain which event you believe to be the most difficult for Ping and why.

Story Line

(10 minutes)

The following events are randomly listed.
In your learning partners order the evens as they unfolded in the book.

1. Ping finds out the dragon stone is really an egg.
2. The necromancer has the dragon stone.
3. Ping and the Dragon become friends.
4. The imperial guards capture Ping.
5. Ping discovers that people think she is a sorceress.
6. Ping and Danzi travel down the Yellow River with Jiang Bing.
7. Danzi tells Ping that he will travel to the ocean
8. The baby dragon is named Kai.
9. Hua and Daio fight on the mountain.
10. Diao find Ping and Danzi at the farm house.
11. Ping and Liu Che ascend the mountain.
12. Danzi discovers the stone has turned a milky colour and decides to go to Chang’an.
13. Danzi brought rain to the villages.
14. Danzi discovers the old woman on the boat has tried to poison them with Chinaberry leaves.
15. Kind woman gives Ping a new dress and shoes.

Use the rest of this lesson to check over your work and complete activities.
Each lesson will have a lot of work to complete so don't get behind now. It is very important that you complete this at home tonight if you aren't keeping up or talk to your teacher now if you need to discuss personal reasons why you can't keep up.

Lesson 3

New Vocabulary

(5 minutes)
Discuss as a class and collectively create definitions for these words.
Do you know the meaning of these words?

Write the word and the meaning of the word in your book.

Minor Characters

Joining Sentences

(20 minutes)

Join the two sentences together to make one longer sentence. Use commas and joining words where appropriate.

When you write these sentences into your book just write the new sentence.

As, but, instead of, and, however, while, although


Danzi wouldn’t eat until the chinaberry was out of his system.
The next day he was strong enough to spend an hour or two in his old man shape at the rudder.

Danzi wouldn’t eat until the chinaberry was out of his system, but the next day he was strong enough to spend an hour or two in his old man shape at the rudder.

Ping was told to close her eyes and practice counting backwards from five hundred.
Ping was told to imagine following the path of a beetle on a distant hill.

Danzi searched for ginseng root, mustard leaves and yellow pea flowers.
These plants would help Ping to focus her qi.

The waters of the Yellow River were less turbulent.
The waters of the Yellow River were still carrying the little boat towards the ocean.

All Dragonkeepers were from the Huan or Yu family.
Ping did not know her name.
Ping did not know she had special skills that other people didn’t have.

Danzi showed a precious mirror to Ping.
Danzi told Ping that if she accepted the mirror she would be bound to him and his heirs.
Danzi told Ping the decision is binding for life.

Dragonkeepers have three special skills.
Dragonkeepers are left handed.
Dragonkeepers can hear the dragon’s voice.
Dragonkeepers have second sight.

Ping was dragged out of the water by the Emperor’s guards.
She thanked them.
They weren’t going to let her go.

The water in the bath was warm.
The servant sprinkled dried rose petals in the water so it was fragrant.

Pings gown had been removed.
A fine silk gown replaced it.
The gown was made of fine blue sild with white flowers.

Ping and the Emperor sat down to a meal.
The first course was turtle stew.
The second course was roasted panther.

Diary Entry – paragraph writing

(20 minutes)
Write three paragraphs from a diary belonging to any character in the book. Choose an event, write down three main ideas and write a paragraph about each one.


Ping’s Diary – Plan
Topic The day the dragon died.
Idea 1 What happened and how Ping felt about it.
Idea 2 What Master Lan did.
Idea 3 How the events have changed her perception of the remaining dragon.

Wednesday the 17th of January (Ancient China)

Today was the longest day in my life. Something terrible is going to happen to me and I have been praying to the gods in heaven to have mercy on me. Today one of the dragons died. I can’t help but think that it is all my fault. If I had cared for the dragons better and showed them more kindness maybe things would be different.

I have never seen Master Lan so full of energy as he was when he thought he should get rid of the evidence that the dragon had died. Who would have thought he would cut up the dragon’s dead body and pickle it. The thought of it still makes me feel ill. It was my job to cut up the vegetables to add to the pot. I am so sure the gods will punish me for taking part in this terrible deed.

The remaining dragon has been crying out all day. He is making a terrible goinging sound and deep inside me I feel like I know what he is saying. He is grieving the loss of his friend. He is so sad and lonely now his friend is dead. This has truly been a terrible day and from this day forward I will care for the remaining dragon as best I can.

Make sure you include your planning before you write the diary entry as shown below.

Character’s name Please draw this chart in your books and fill in the information.
Topic of the diary entry
Idea 1
Idea 2
Idea 3

Now you can start to write your Diary Entry - remember that diaries are full of thoughts and feelings and descriptions of what is happening around you.


(20 minutes)

Very often books have a theme or themes that they focus on through the story that is being told. Which of the following themes do you think are relevant to the book?

In the first column write why you think this theme could connect with the book.
In the second column record your thoughts on this topic and why you think it is an important thing to discuss.


The importance of being cared for and taught. Under the care of Lan Ping was kept ignorant. He loved to laugh at her 'stupidity' and refused to teacher about life but Danzi loved to teach Ping and help her understand herself and the world Adults have a responsibility to shape the children in their care. Teaching people to do and understand things is a very great responsibility because provides an opportunity for people to discover their talents.
Traveling on a journey.
Kindness vs. exploitation
Good vs. evil
Treating people and animals with respect.
The relationship between the real world and the spiritual world.
Luck and Curses
Natural talent and skill
Honour and Loyalty
Self discovery
Having a purpose

The teacher will check your work. If you are not up to date you will have to decide if you can complete the work by Monday morning or if you need to attend English Club as well.

Week 11 Yellow Week

Lit Circles Web Page

2013 Black HS Yr 7 order form (3).pdf

Lesson 4

Character analysis

(20 minutes)

What do we look for in a person’s character?
How can we gather evidence about who someone is?
This is a difficult task at the best of times but there are some questions we can ask about a character in a book to gather this information.

What do we know about what the person looks like?

What do they do?

Read through the following example on Ping then in your learning pairs write a character profile for Danzi then on your own choose a minor character and answer these questions about them – remember … Change the first part of the question into the answer and them complete the question.



What do we know about what the person looks like?

The author gives us a lot of information about Ping’s appearance. When we first meet her she is an 11 year old slave girl who is dressed in trousers that are patched at the knee and a threadbare jacket. She had shoes made from straw. She doesn’t know her name and her only friend is a rat. Her master says she is cursed because she is left handed.

As the journey continues we learn that she smells because she rarely bathes and her hair is messy and knotted. At different points in the story Ping lives in many different conditions. At times she is traveling with the dragon and is wearing a dress given to her by a kind woman on a farm. At one point in the story she is living in the Imperial Palace and is wearing a dress of fine blue silk.

What does Ping do?
Ping looked after the animals at the Palace. She was given very little so occasionally she would steal things from her master and at nights she would creep around the Imperial Palace and explore the building. Ping worked hard and was treated badly by her master.

When Ping is with Danzi she cares for him and travels with him. She does as he asks and tries hard to do well. She takes an interest in what he says and tries to learn. She is determined to be a good Dragonkeeper.

When they are in trouble she often comes up with a plan to escape. She makes every effort to be fair and looks for the good in others. When she found the boy who stole her money she showed him compassion and let him keep some money.

She is always looking for friends and tries to share her story with the boat woman and tries to return the friendship of the Emperor. She is very loyal to both Hua and Danzi and she is trusting of the dragon even when she is not really sure about why he makes particular decisions.

Although Ping is an innocent child she is also very shrewd. She is courageous, cunning, adventurous, fit, agile and relentless. She believed that her destiny was to care for the dragon and she would do all in her powers to do so. Ping is a hard worker and is driven by her responsibility to others.

Check out this great Prezi about Ping's character

What do you think? Have they done a great job?

Interview questions

(20 minutes)

Choose a character and write 5 open ended questions that you would like to ask of the character and the answer you think the character would give.

Danzi why did you leave Ping at the palace and run away with Wang Cao?

I had bitterness in my heart. I could see that Ping was happy at the palace and enjoyed the friendship of the Emperor. I felt like she was placing his friendship in front of mine. The truth is I was jealous of their friendship and felt that Ping no longer acted in my best interests. Wang Cao was also jealous of her and when we spoke together we confirmed each other’s thoughts and made a bad decision. A decision I later regretted.

Now it is your turn. Write both your question and your answer neatly in your book!

Theme analysis

(20 minutes)

What is it?

Analysis of theme involves working the concept, thought, opinion or belief that the author expresses. The theme of a work is the main message, insight, or observation the writer offers. The theme allows the author to control or give order to his perceptions about life.
How do you find the theme?

Sometimes the theme can be discovered by reading through the work and looking for topics that show up again and again. When you were reading the work, did you think, “Ah, didn’t he already talk about that?” If you did, then you have probably noted a theme.
If you are having trouble picking out a theme, examine the relations among the parts of a story and the relations of the parts to the whole:

Characters: What kind of people does the story deal with?

Plot: What do the characters do? Are they in control of their lives, or are they controlled by fate?

Motivation: Why do the characters behave as they do, and what motives dominate them?

Tone: What is the author’s attitude towards her subject?

Values: Does it seem like the author is making a value judgment? What are the values of the characters in the story? What values does the author seem to promote?
Think about how the author conveys her ideas.

o Direct statements.
o Imagery and symbolism.
o A character’s thoughts or statements.
o A character who stands for something (e.g. an archetype*)
o Overall impression/tone/moral of the work

(The notes above were modified from this website)

Look back at the list of themes that were listed in lesson 3. Do you have any other themes you would like to add to this list?

Choose 2 themes and using dot points write 3 anecdotes from the book that link into the theme.


Hua the rat was loyal to Ping and Ping was also loyal to her rat. Danzi comments that the rat is a loyal beast and will return.

Danzi is loyal to the dragon stone and protected it no matter what.

Despite Ping enjoying the comforts of palace life and her friendship with the Emperor she could not let that friendship stand in the way of her loyalty to Denzi.

Lesson 5

Quote PEE PP.ppt

Quotes and personal opinions

Look at the quotes below. Each one comes from the Dragonkeeper book and the page is recorded next to it. In the box next to it write down why you think this quote was chosen as a significant quote from the book.

Page Quote Your reflection
2 The slave girl didn’t have a name; she didn’t know how old she was. Not having a name or knowing your age is a sign that no one really cares about you. You are not regarded as a person but a thing. In this case the girl is a slave and even though she is young no one cares for her.
55 ‘I will call you Danzi then,’ said Ping, ‘You are very courageous.’
67 Lan has told them I am a sorceress. He has blamed everything on me,’ she said. ‘I can’t go back to Huangling.’
69 ‘Ping no longer slave,’ said Danzi. ‘Free. Travel with Danzi to Ocean.’
70 Drink from Ocean and wishes come true.
82 For the first time, Ping felt no regret about leaving Huangling. She turned to face the east and started to walk towards the rising sun, towards the distant Ocean.
91 Dragons have 117 scales, 81 are for good and 36 are bad.
94 The dragon was patient and always answered. Master Lan had taken great pleasure in telling her nothing.
96 If you can count to ten you can count to ten thousand.
98 Makes them see the world as a whole with each insect, every blade of grass is as important as the Emperor.
98 Indeed. We are each unique and therefore of great worth.
108 ‘Those filled with life need not be afraid of tigers,’ he said.
121 It is because of its emptiness that the cup is useful.
175 At Haungling (ping) she had often wished for one thing … a real friend to talk to.
176 Now that she had experienced friendship and lost it, she felt lonely for the first time in her life.
223 'Nothing under heaven is softer than water,'Danzi said. 'Yet it can overcome the hard and the strong.'
236 'The sapling is small but none can defeat it,' he whispered.
251 How could she be such a special person , someone with special skills that other people didn’t have?
252 It was as if a secret place inside her, that had always been closed, had opened.
252 She would accept the token. It was her destiny.

Quotes into paragraphs

Use the information above to include quotes in a passage of writing.

In the book Dragonkeeper Wilkinson introduces us to the protagonist in the story. Even though she is young no one cares for her. She is despised by her master and treated badly but does her best to be respectful towards him. ‘The slave girl didn’t have a name; she didn’t even know how old she was (p.2)’. She had been sold by her parents to Lan when she was young and lived at Huangling Palace ever since.

Choose 5 quotes from the previous task and write a paragraph for each. Remember to use the correct punctuation.

Next lesson we will start to write the essay. You will be assessed on the essay and you will be expected to demonstrate all of the skills that we have been practicing in class.

The work will be marked accordingly

Bookwork – 25%
Essay plan – 5%
Essay draft 1 – 20%
Proofreading – no individual mark but the final essay should demonstrate that you have proofread your work and improved your first attempt at writing.
Final draft of the essay – 50%

Use the rest of this lesson to check over your work and complete activities.
End of Book Work

Lesson 6

Writing an essay plan

Dragonkeeper – Analytical Essay

Define the word Analytical
Examine or interpret something, analyse the cause.

12 Steps to writing an analytical essay

Task you are not to concentrate on a word limit but learn the process of writing an analytical essay.

Step 1

– Choose an essay topic
(5 minutes)

Read the essay topics and choose one that you will write.

Ping’s experiences during her journey are mainly difficult. Explain how did these experiences shape Ping’s character throughout the book?

(experience and consequence – The effect of A was B)

Danzi was an old and wise dragon, he knew the value of all creatures and the value of friendship. Discuss what this journey was like for him. How did he feel? What frustrations did he face? What did he achieve on his journey? Did this journey change him?

(experience and consequence – The effect of A was B)

Ping left one master to serve another. In what ways did Danzi show care for her and help her develop into a courageous and talented girl.

(comparison, experience, consequence)

Step 2

List the key words in the essay topic
(5 minutes)

Write the key words in a table as shown

Step 3

(15 minutes)

Critically brainstorm your topic – ask yourself how do you link your ideas to the essay topic.
Write any ideas you have about the story that address the essay topic. Here you need to think about the events, characters and messages in the book, which are directly related to the essay topic.

Place the topic in a square/ circle in the middle of a page. Around the edges of the page write the names of the characters, draw a line to connect them. Along that line list the events that connect the characters to your topic.

Step 4

(15 minutes)

Think of a logical way to organise your essay. You will need to get the attention of your reader, explain your point of view (contention) and leave your reader with a strong impression.

From the key ideas on the previous page, make an order of main ideas you would discuss in your essay to address the topic.

What evidence or quote would support each of your main ideas?

Write your ideas in a table as shown - remember to include the page numbers of quotes or the chapter number for anecdotes.

Before we start writing read through these tips (Mr. Vezey’s dos and don’ts on essay writing!)

  • Have a creative title
  • No slang or abbreviations
  • Leave a line between paragraphs

Never use these in your essay

  •  I
  •  Because
  •  This (quote) shows…
  •  This is important because…
  •  So …
  •  As you can see …
  •  In conclusion / In summary …
  •  I’m going to show …
  •  For example …
  •  I think …
  •  The reason is because …
  •  An example is when / where
  •  In this novel / In this book

An analytical essay is a number of linked paragraphs that comment critically on a text to analyse it and interpret it, using supporting evidence and quotes from the text. Like most essays it can be divided into three parts: Introduction, Body, Conclusion

Step 5

(10 minutes)

Writing the introduction

The introduction or the first paragraph should briefly outline the ideas or arguments to be discussed in the body of the essay. You should refer to the key words of the topic. The introduction should provide the reader with an insight into the topic of the essay and ‘points the way’ for the remainder of the essay.

Your essay must be written in the third person (do not use : I or because, that is in the first person). You need to write using formal English (pretend you are posh). No slang and no abbreviations and no texting talk!

Big words, big sentences, logical ideas supported by evidence from the book
Follow the prompts and then write your introduction – have this completed for your next lesson.

Share your introduction with your friends. Use each other’s ideas to improve your introduction.
The first sentence of an introductory paragraph should hook the reader into reading your essay. It should provide some kind of interesting or relevant quote, thought or statistic.

The next two or three sentences should give sufficient background information so that your contention will make sense. The background information should include the title, author’s name and any other relevant information from the book. Only a little bit of plot summery is required.

In between the background information and the contention should be a transitional sentence. This sentence helps the reader connect the book to a larger theme or idea that you will be analysing.

The contention should be the last sentence of your introductory passage. It should answer the question. A contention is an opinion that you will prove in your essay. It is never the plot.
A strong contention should express your main ideas. Do not go into detail with your main ideas because you will write about them in the next 3 paragraphs. Simply state the main ideas.

Use the rest of this lesson to get a perfect introduction – and remember – a lot of the ideas in the book work we have completed will help you with your essay.

Week 12 Green Week

Lesson 7

Step 6

Writing the first draft of the essay

In an analytical essay each paragraph is written to a particular formula. Previously we wrote paragraphs with the topic sentence and then the details. The type of paragraph we will use in this essay builds on that idea. It is called a TEEL paragraph. What is it called?
Tell the person next to you what it is called.


Topic – A sentence that introduces the main idea for that paragraph.
Explain – Give more details about the topic.
Example – Give an example from the book (anecdote or quote)
Link – Link this example back to the essay topic or your contention

Example (I do it)

TopicDanzi understood that the more he taught Ping the better she would be able to be a great Dragonkeeper.
ExplainThe dragon spent much of his time on their journey teaching Ping about the plants and their names and how to make herbal remedies. He valued her for who she was and knew that a person who was willing to learn could learn a lot.
ExampleWhen Danzi was questioned about her suitability as a dragonkeeper he told his old friend, ‘It is because of its emptiness that the cup is useful (p. 121)’.
LinkHe didn’t see Ping for who she was but what she could become as she developed as a person.

Put it together

Danzi understood that the more he taught Ping the better she would be able to be a great Dragonkeeper. The dragon spent much of his time on their journey teaching Ping about the plants and their names and how to make herbal remedies. He valued her for who she was and knew that a person who was willing to learn could learn a lot. When Danzi was questioned about her suitability as a dragonkeeper he told his old friend, ‘It is because of its emptiness that the cup is useful (p. 121)’. He didn’t see Ping for who she was but who she could become as she developed as a person.

Paragraph 2 (We do it)

In your partners write a TEEL paragraph for your essay. Check each other’s work.


Put it together …

Now try paragraph 3 and 4 (You do it)

Paragraph 3

Put it together …

Paragraph 4


Put it together …

You may need more than 3 paragraphs for the body of your essay. Use the rest of the lesson to get these paragraphs perfect!!

If you are satisfied with what you have written then go on to the introduction – if not you will need to complete these at home tonight.

Lesson 8

Step 7


This is similar to your introduction, as it summarises your ideas, arguments and responses to the essay topic. This is concluding, so there should be no new information provided. Write your conclusion by restating your main argument and making a final, global observation based on the evidence you have given. Sum up the things you have included that address the essay topic.

Restate your main contention to the question

Summarise the main points you have included that address your essay question:

Make a general comment linking the essay question to your contention and how this related to the novel:

Essay writing / proof reading

Put all of your essay together. Read it to yourself. Read it to your partner. Read it to your pet …

  • Does it make sense?
  • Check the spelling.
  • Check the facts.
  • Can you join sentences together to sound more sophisticated?
  • Can you change simple words for more formal words?
  • Have you used the correct punctuation?
  • Have you included the page numbers for your quotes?
  • Do all of your paragraphs link back to the essay question?
  • Does your essay fit together nicely or does it contradict itself?
  • Are you pleased with what you have written?

Lesson 9

First draft – bring your first draft to class get 2 people to read it and to give you feedback
You should have enough time in class to rewrite the essay as a good copy ready to be handed in tomorrow.
Work hard and don’t get distracted. Move away from anyone that is interrupting you.

Lesson 10

Hand in the final draft of the essay
(if you have completed the essay you are to work on your English Basics Books)

Extension Work

Video on Carole talking

ANZAC Day Spelling Test 2
GIMSC English Basics
Introduction to Context Writing Context Writing Continued Spelling Test 3
Suffixes and grammar

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